He's a wizard! (Wizard with gloves)
On his lizard! (Lizard because)
He's always snagging balls
And shagging flies
He's playing balls out
Balls to the wall

Balls out, lights out, dogs out.
(In the Hall of Fame)

His Arch! (Arch Enemies)
Are Will Clark!
And sharks! (Naturally)
He's been scared of them
Since the All Star break.
Stranded on a bed
Out in the bay.
Now he packs a gun,
And he’s afraid of

Bay sharks, Will Clark, and New Year's
(New Year's Eve!)
Bay sharks, Will Clark, and New Year's
(New Year's Eve!)

Now, he's on the street
With his 12-gauge,
Albert Pujols,
And the Page 3 ladies.
P-P-Page 3 ladies.

Balls out, New Year's, Bay sharks
Dogs out, raft bed, 12-gauge
Pujols, top down, ladies
Will Clark, All Star, golden arch
Ding-dongs, Ho-ho's, Twinkies
Xanax, estate tax, and Laser Tag
Pujols, top down, ladies
Dogs out, raft bed, 12-gauge

Willie McGee was the MVP.
4 out of 5 of his dentists agree:
He needs some bridge work
And he's built like a tree.
I said he's skinny,
Talkin' Willie McGee.

Dogs out, raft bed,
12-gauge and Laser Tag
Balls out, New Year’s, Bay sharks