Old Pirate’s Just a Rastaman (Pittsburgh)

At the place
where the three rivers converge
there was a virgin birth
an immaculate conception
And the son of
the Three Rivers emerged
He was our Pop, Pop, Pops
Now we are family, we are family

Yo, this is 2-bagger/Oh, Snap I f’ed up my own name/This is High Cheese/and please understand/I’m wearing a rasta-cap with fake dreads out the back/Crack, No I won’t smoke it/but I’ll snort cocaine in ’83 if Dale Berra holds for me/but that’s all the negativity/in this whole song/about a proud, and storied franchise/way before Dale Long/and his homeruns in 8 straight games/I’m going to take it all the way back/ to Honus Wagner/No tobacco card, no laughing matter/T-206!

Son of Yogi, Son of Bobby/Berra, Bonds, Berra, Bonds/Berra Family/ We are family/2-Time MVP/No need to hit 70/or even 73/Cuz we got 70-What?!/ We got 70-What?!/ I said ’79 and we’re feeling fine.

The Monongahela and the Steelers/ Much love from the Hot Corner/Bonds, Bonilla/Van Slyke Shady Side, South Side, SewickleyWhere Lemieux resides with his hockey stick/He likes Wilson & Wilson, and the Fogg of War/Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Bottle Rocket, Rushmore/Royal Tennebaums? Yes./ Life Aquatic? We’ll I guess./Wait a second they’re actors, get us out of this mess/Jose Mesa comes in to slam the door/It isn’t pretty, but it’s our family/Much love for our brothers and sisters in the Steel City.

We are family
Old Pirate’s just a Rastaman
We are family.

La Vaníl/Salute National Champs of Yesteryear/and listen to Blue Cheer in the dugout/Chuck Tanner ‘88
Lemieux/Watch the Hell Out No Summertime Blues/for Mazeroski in his youth/Now standing in the corner/wondering what the hell to do/paint surrounds, drop down Tekulve/not Ben Ogilvie, but Al Oliver/Bob Friend/I’m gonna sit out and wait/No it’s not a lady/but it’s 1980/and I’m missing a chance to defend

Charlie Hayes is the man/who from 3rd base he can take us higher/Charlie Hayes is one bad mother.../(Shut Your Mouth)/Come from behind, give us a sign/Come from behind, put down the sign/like Jason Kendall, or Mr. Wendall

Now the River Ohio is mighty and wide/like Pops the Pirate/with a patch on his eye/My, oh my, that one’s hit sky high/got it up in his wheel house/High Cheese!/Took it for a ride/That one’s coming down on Lorrie Valley Drive/Now I’m Pittsburgh born, bred, weaned and raised/I was born to rock, rap, please and praise/Cause I’m a Farmhand/SacFly/rock/Fungo/rock/High Cheese/rock

We are family
Old Pirate’s just a Rastaman
We are family.

The Allegheny winds past the Warhol museum/Tell Simon he’s forgiven if you happen to see him/Free him from his guilt, his shame and his lapse/over tapping that sausage on the head with his bat.

We’re not criminals though we’re named for them/Let’s go digital, I’ll explain again/We don’t rob ships as we signify or support that/Let me proselytize/Call us ThunderHawks!/Look in my eyes/Call us ThunderHawks!/I’ll let you hypnotize/Call us ThunderHawks!/ Johnny Bob Surprise/Call us ThunderHawks!

Mongoose, shaking that ass/Mongoose, making it last/Dave Parker/Hunting the cobra/Cobra Commander/Stalking the Panther/Pitt Panther/Disco dancer/Secret romancer/Everybody cut, Everybody cut/Everybody cut Mongoose

Charlie, have you heard the word/like the Word of God/Oh, My God!/It was the Shot Heard Round the World/Mazeroski, like Penguins hockey/and then Clemente, heaven sent yeah/to Dave Parker/Charlie, have you heard the bird go/B-Bop, B-bop, bop, B-bop, B-bop, bop… Pops!

We are family
Old Pirate’s just a Rastaman
We are family.